and lo, the sphinx said:
"riddle me this... what walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon and three in the evening?"

you should have seen the toilet a few hours later....

It is the holidays! My family did the usual traditional thang, High Class Pizza. We had pizza with all the fixin's: turkey legs, stuffing a la doo doo, cranberry salsa, and dont forget about their famous desert pizza: dingle berry pie. You better make your reservations soon, this place fills up by the 1st of the year!

Introducing our new correspondent from outter space!!! No, this is not a halloween costume!

I woke up in cold sweats this morning.

a man can dream... a man can dream...

Um.... Yeah. Looks like we got a new fashion trend hittin' the beaches. Is this what's "HOT" in your beach community? I'm thinkin' NOT

BAGGY BOTTOMS SIGHTING!!!!!!!!! Can anyone say, "Sit On MY Face"

I've been out travelin' round the world and who did I catch up with over in Amsterdam? Yep! Ballz grandpa, McGruff senior. I know you were all thinking, wait a second, I thought Ballz was a thug, gang bangin' nigga. He is dont worry, it is just that Mr. McGruff senior had some jungle fever and got up with some trick's when he traveled Africa back in the 1910's pre WWI. No one knows who Ballz grandma really is...

ohh yeah... pure mars rock. i lost everything for this. a high... a high like being burned up entering it's red atmosphere. you're just gone and tiny flecks of you rain down from texas to puerto rico.

'Nuff said

Long ago I tricked an old woman, and now I must pay for my folly.

I'm sorry Duke.

DAMN! Balls McGruff your girlfriend is UGLY!!!!!!!!!! Yes hot as hell, this microwave planet we call Earth is cooking nice and slow, we will all be tandori style by the time we are done with all this global warming. Don't forget to mention all the hot buff dudes in their speedo's, balls hanging out, all oiled up! I cannot wait to get to the beach this summer.

EXTRA EXTRA!!!!!!!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!!!! Fresh off the presses GB #5!!!!!! Have you got your copy yet bitches???? GB#4 and #5 are on sale now at Quimby's in Chicago, Aquarius Records in San Fran, and some comic book store in Berkeley.

Ahh the HEATWAVE... So good. I don't know why everyone else is sitting around bitchin'. Man, without global warming the plethora of hot chicks in bikinis would be a pipe dream, or a wet dream. Same thing. The GB Bonertron would sputter and whirl down like a depleted oil pump. So fuck all that shit about whales and ice caps, less yr talkin' 'bout bling cause I don't wanna hear it. I LIKE TIT-TAYS NYA!

Anyhoo, I'm just chilin' like Jonathan Silverman up on my roof ala Weekend at Bernies. You know, before they hit that island and found that dead dude. In due time we'll have this site up with scans from the zine and maybe a few video clips. So quit CHOMPIN AT THE BIT!

Finally, Thanks you to all the throngs and thongs of fans the world over. Barely makin' rent wouldn't be possible without you.

Smell you later,